Working Hard to Understand

We’ve had the first read-through and the first music rehearsal. I am feeling more confident, though tonight we are choreographing Oom Pah Pah, and that is a bit daunting! Fortunately, my dear friend, Sonnia, who is playing Bet, is more than happy to dance on and dive off the bar in my place, and I have no problem with attention being diverted to her during the song. (In fact, I say, “Woot!” She is quite talented and a lot of fun. The audience will love her!)

Now I am working on character building. I spend a lot of quiet moments wondering what compels a woman to stay with a man who is abusive. Nancy and Bill are not married. He has no redeeming traits that are obvious to the audience. So the key for me is building a back story that includes who Bill was in the past and what may have been the draw for Nancy. How long have they been together? Is he capable of love, tenderness? (I don’t think so, but that’s me… not Nancy, right?) Did they grow up together under Fagen’s “tutelage”? Was it young love/lust that just became familiar, comfortable, “normal”?

I will have no problem embracing the nurturing, somewhat maternal side of my Nancy. The one that takes joy in the boys. Or the live-in-the-moment, cup-is-half-full way of taking things as they come, as she celebrates in “It’s a Fine Life”. It’s kinda’ how I do things anyway, so that isn’t a real stretch for me. I do have a wicked side that is very Nancy. Mostly it’s that whole staying with an abusive bastard thing I have trouble understanding and feeling. But getting there… well, that is the grand adventure of acting, isn’t it? That’s my passion. That moment of understanding, connection with the emotion, letting go of Jeanne and becoming Nancy.

Say a prayer for my wobbly ankles and my tempermental back/sciatica! If Jimmy has me up on or leaping off any bar, I’m in TROUBLE!

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Danville Light Opera presents OLIVER!

And I’ve been cast as Nancy.

I am still stunned and just starting to believe that this is all going to work out… maybe even work out well.

If I wasn’t so shocked, that first sentence would read:

And I’ve been CAST AS NANCY!!!!!

This is the one theatrical role I have wanted to play since I was about 12 years old (a few years before I even began doing theatre) and saw the movie Oliver! for the first time.

I loved everything about Nancy (portrayed by Shani Wallis). I loved her voice, her songs, her spirit, her joy, her passion, and how, in the end, she did the right thing in spite of the risk.

For decades I hoped  to have an opportunity to play the role, but it never manifested. Then, last year, Danville Light Opera (a community theatre company in which I am actively involved) put it on the 2012-2013 season. I was thrilled, because it is my favorite classic musical of all time. I was sad, because I knew I was too old to audition for Nancy. I felt like 52 was pushing it by a few decades.

So. I opted not to audition at all and, instead, to assist the producer and director. I was okay with that, and excited to be a part of the team.

Then. My husband, Chris, who has done a few shows in the last couple of years, and who had insisted there was no way he was auditioning for Oliver, returned from a trip to Peru like a different man. He decided he did want to audition, so we decided to audition together for the Sowerberrys (the funeral director and his wife, who are wicked and funny).

That was the plan.

The first night of auditions we didn’t have anyone turn out for Nancy, so I read Nancy in a lot of scenes with other auditioners. I had a blast! At the end of the first night of auditions, there were three of us ladies who decided to belt out As Long As He Needs Me as a lark, and because the director said he just wanted to hear us sing.

The second night of auditions, Chris and I read and sang for the Sowerberrys. It was a lot of fun, and I was hopeful that we’d be cast together. The characters had one scene, one song, easy peasy and a chance to be on stage together.

After auditions, those who were doing the actual casting tossed those of us who were not involved in the casting out into the hallway with the rest of the auditioners. When the producer came out and dismissed everyone, I headed back in to the rehearsal hall to pack up my laptop (I’d been serving as production assistant and typing in data from the audition sheets), and asked the director who’d been cast.

He ran down the list, and I was nodding in agreement with all the choices until he got to the Sowerberrys. He named my husband and another woman. I looked at him quizzically, but the other woman was actually a good fit, too, so I was okay with it. I had plenty on my plate as production assistant. Then he said, “And I want you for Nancy.”

I thought he’d lost his ever-loving mind, but the music director and board member who also served on the casting committee were nodding in agreement.

“What!?!”

“Yes, I want YOU. You are a strong performer. The minute I heard you sing last night, I knew I wanted you.”

I spent the next 15 minutes looking deeply into the eyes of the three casting committee members and asking, “Are you sure? Are you very sure?”

I am 52. I am fat. I have a degenerative back issue and dodgy ankles. I thought they’d lost their minds. Oh, I am completely confident that I can act and sing the role, but I sure don’t look the part, and dancing? Not so much.

I left that night truly stunned, and wondering if I should decline. Too ludicrous? Too controversial? Too old’n’fat? And when I told my husband, his initial response was subtly incredulous, though supportive.

Thank God for Benedryl, or I would’ve had a very long and sleepless night. Morning came, and Chris had moved into full support mode. After the cast list was posted, I got a few notes of congratulation in email and on Facebook. I emailed my mom. And her response solidified my faith in myself to take this on wholeheartedly.

As Long As He Needs Me is my mother’s favorite song. She wrote about a specific performance of this song (and subsequently sent me the DVD in which it appears). “…As Long as He Needs Me! Every time I watch it I think of you. You'll be perfect.”

If Mom thinks I’ll be perfect, well, Mom is always right.

Jimmy Mitchell, the director, has been hysterically supportive. He’s insisting I will be dancing on the bar and leaping into the arms of the patrons. I’ve insisted that this won’t be happening. He’s insisted that he will push me to my limits, and that it will be wonderful. I am terrified and exhilarated.

Chris and I are both embarking on a renewed commitment to healthy diet and exercise. I can lose a few pounds before show time, and we are also preparing for a trip to Egypt next April. Definitely have to get in shape for that as well.

Tonight is our first meet’n’greet and read through if the scripts have arrived (please, God!). I am about to undertake something I have wanted, wished for, for decades. Four decades, to be exact. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes the moment you stop wishing because it has become “impossible”, you just might get it. Then whatcha’ gonna’ do?

Run in fear, or embrace the opportunity?

I’m choosing the latter.

Cheers!

Jeanne